“Easier Said Than Done” AKA How I Changed Completely After Moving to America

This is supposed to be to the tune of “Another Day of Sun” from La La Land (2016)

Karaoke Version

[Intro]

Ba-ba-da-ba da-ba-da-ba

Ba-ba-ba ba-da-ba-da-ba

Ba-ba-ba ba-da-ba-da-ba

Ba-ba-ba 

[Singer 1]

I think about those days

Kids would make fun of my English language skills every day

Those kids were so mean

But it was right and it was true

Improving, my English could do

That’s all I knew

From then on, every night

I’d sink into the seat 

By my PC and dim the lights

And consume Western pop culture from that old DELL machine

My eyes would be glued to the screen

That was the nightly scene

[Singer 1 & 2]

While I listened to “Poker Face”

I completely forgot my race

I forgot about Prasad Lane [1]

[Singer 1, 2, and 3]

I couldn’t see

[Singer 1]

That I was becoming less brown

I was forgetting my hometown

This “White American” was becoming…

[Singer 1, 2, and 3]

… the new me

[Chorus]

Overkill

Of the culture of Whites

And the consumption of it all the time

And I’ve really let down

(That’s easier said than…)

The people of my town

(That’s easier said than…)

I wanna be more Brown

But that’s easier said than done

[Singer 4]

I hear them every day

All of my Brown companions

All of whom quite love to say

I’m Whiter than the Ballrooms

From back when France was baroque

They say “you’re White as Antoinette…”

“Only difference is you’re poor”

[Singer 5]

And although I always say “no”

“I’m brown as Kareena Kapoor”

“Although my skin color’s not white”

“As an average Swede”

[Singer 4]

Them Brown folks always say I’m “wrong”

“I hear too many English songs”

[Singers 4 and 5]

That’s the thing that pisses me off and makes my mind go

[Chorus]

Overkill

Of the culture of Whites

And the consumption of it all the time

And I’ve really let down

(That’s easier said than…)

The people of my town

(That’s easier said than…)

I wanna be more Brown

But that’s easier said than done

[Instrumental break]

[Singer 1]

I’ve let down my town

I wanna be more Brown

[All]

That’s easier said than done

That’s easier said than done

That’s easier said than done

That’s easier said than done

Much easier said than done

That’s easier said than done

Much easier said than done

That’s easier said than done

[Instrumental Break and Car Honks]

That’s easier said than done

So… yeah, that’s the story of how I became what I am today: a completely Westernized Desi immigrant. When I was young, I lived in Bangladesh. I watched Indian movies and listened to Indian songs near exclusively (because Bengali movies and songs had a tendency to be horrible) and as a result, spoke Hindi fluently. But then, I moved here started facing racism in school. Not the kind of racism that society looks at and deems unacceptable such as using a racial slur or physical violence, but the type that kids think would be funny like making fun of a recent immigrant’s English or lack of pop culture knowledge. Because of that bullying, I decided to improve my English and pop culture knowledge, completely harmless. However, I think I did it a little too much because I started losing my connection to my culture. I forgot how to read and write Bengali, I forgot how to speak Hindi, I stopped watching Bollywood (for a while, not permanently), etc… it was not a great time.

And the thing is, I never noticed how much of my connection to my Brown culture (Brown as in Desi, Bengali, or South Asian — take your pick) I lost until it was pointed out to me by my family. But by that point, it was too late. No matter how hard I try to relearn and understand Hindi again, I can’t do it, same with trying to read and write Bengali, and it makes me feel so ashamed. 

Now, all I want is to get that connection back, but it’s too late. I’ve gotten back into Bollywood, but I always need subtitles. I check out Bengali books from the library, but I can never read a word. I listen to Hindi songs, but I have no clue what they say. Hell, I don’t even know what they say in Bengali songs, because even though I do still speak it, I can’t figure out the individual words being said. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a fake Brown person. 

This is how being such a young, Desi immigrant affected me — I went from someone very patriotic and Bengali to someone who’d completely lost their connection to their culture simply because of some kids in school who bullied and teased me. Sadly this is a reality for so many young immigrants who get mocked after moving to a place that’s completely different. It shouldn’t be this way, but my pessimistic self thinks that it’ll never change.

 

[1]: Prasad Lane (Pra-sh-aa-d Lane) is the street I grew up on.